I’m Glad Somebody Said It!

Yemoja

I got this lovely little New York Times article from another wonderful mommy blog, Northshore Parent and I felt I had to say this- “It’s about damn time!” I speaks about the “Wine Mommy” culture that seems to have permeated our ranks. I thought I was the only one who cringed at the “Mommy Needs Wine” memes and this entire culture centered around drinking wine as the only way to unwind and cope with motherhood. I am SO not that mom. I have never been that mom.

I am the type of mom that will let a bottle of Stella Artois sit in her refrigerator for eight months because I just never have the compulsion to drink it. I wince when people try to ply me with a bottle of wine or cranberry and vodka in order to get me to join in on a bitch session. I’d much rather just have the cranberry juice. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I can’t drink to feel numb or to forget. Drinking just serves to amplify whatever misery I’m feeling, and who needs the hassle of waking up with a hangover, although I have a pretty effective way of combatting a hangover, it’s the managing to fall asleep without having to roll off the bed and crawl on hands and knees to pray to the porcelain god that’s the bitch.

The question is, where DO moms like me go to cope and unwind where there isn’t alcohol involved? Everywhere you look, there’s an event for women where wine is stressed. Paint, sip. Make a wicker basket, sip. Walk your dog, sip. Read, sip. Jog, sip. Smile, sip. Ugh!  Oh, and let’s not get started on all the creative little novelty items they’ve come up with to enable this habit. The bendable silicone wine glasses, the lawn wine glasses, the wine reservoir bra? Really? Is it THAT serious? I look at those and wonder of the people that buy them, “What must your life be like?”

I think all this begs the question, what is it that has brought us, women especially, to this?  Is it boredom? Is it a sort of peer pressure? Is it this deep-seated depression that many of us are suffering that we’re not addressing? We’re supposed to be amongst friends in these settings, why can’t we talk it out? We’re not in high school. We’re not in college, at least not those early binge drinking, sorority pledge years of college anyway, then why are we acting like this? We shouldn’t be corking our emotions like this. We’re supposed to be “liberated”. We need to free ourselves from this debilitating habit as well.

Dipping My Feet in the Water.

Yemoja

This is the first blog I’ve had in a long time. I’m hoping it will be received well. I hope this will a blog of catharsis, a place where people can go and relate, commiserate, and celebrate. This blog will be primarily about my travails of motherhood, but it will more than just that. I’m more than just a mother, so are you moms out there. I want us to be able to talk about just about anything, and given this society today, I even acknowledge the fact that we will tend to be judgmental. I get it. I’ve made my career on passing judgments. I do however ask that the judgment is tempered. This is a “Bad Mom” blog, not a “Mean Girl” blog. We can challenge each other without clawing each other’s eyes out. Despite what guys think, it’s not as sexy as they think it is. LOL.

Now, on to the reason for the name of this blog. I have named it “The Yemoja Journals” in commemoration of the goddess, Yemoja. Yemoja is the Yoruba water deity who is the protector of women. She governs childbirth, conception, parenting, child safety, love, and healing. She is associated with the moon, water, and feminine mysteries. She is the equivalent of the Virgin Mary. I think it’s fitting, don’t you?

Now, back to the “Bad Mom” blog reference. I say I’m a “Bad Mom” because if any of you have ever seen that movie (it has surprisingly become one of my favorites), you will know that it is about some mothers who decided to say enough is enough when it comes to this fruitless effort to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife. They were brave enough to stand up and finally say, “No. This is driving me crazy. I’m not perfect. I want to just BE.” So, this blog is for anyone who sometimes doesn’t want to be known as “X,Y,Z’s Mom” and be known by their first name. The woman they were BEFORE they got married/had kids. Oh, and this blog is for anyone else who is interested, or mildly curious. So let’s do this, shall we?